PUNNY SAYINGS

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ALCOHOL
50 shades of Grey Goose
Champagne campaign
Cognac West
Don't Drake and drive
Drunch
Gone with the gin
Swim & tonic
Sunday funday
Tequila Mockingbird
Too old for this bar
Whiskey me away
Wish you were beer
Watch me sip, watch me lay lay
Sip, sip, hooray!
Drinking Buddies
For richer or for pourer
Whiskey me off my feet
Just renewed my gin membership
Don't keep it bottled up
COFFEE
But first, coffee
Death before decaf
I like you a latte
Insert coffee to begin
Runs on coffee
Mornings are for coffee & contemplation
Coffee. News. Bagel.
Bean thinking about you
Depresso
Stay woke
No talkie
Nothing without you
Ice, ice baby
No chill
EXPECTING
Namastay in bed
With bump not plump
Bun in the oven
Baby on board
Eating for two
BURGERS & FRIES
Fries before guys
Daily poutine
Fry me a river
Sacrifries
Supersize
Hangry
Every meal is a happy meal
Sight for sore fries
Shit's bunreal
Fried & Prejudice
Tate it or leave it
Tater hater
McGorgeous
Clean Plate Club
AVOCADOS
Back that hass up
The good kind of fat
Guaca flocka
Kick hass
Let's toast
Toast master
Avocontrol
Let's avocuddle
Stop, guac & roll
SUSHI
All that & dim sum
Control your tempura
I'll never let you gyoza
Miso hungry
Shrimpin' ain't easy
These rolls ain't loyal
Udon know me
Honor roll
Sashimi rollin'
Soy mate
You're soy awesome
CHEESE
Just in queso
To brie or not to brie
Blessed brie
Cheese fries, please!
I Camembert it
It ain't easy being cheesy
Brie mine
Too gouda for you
You're the mac to my cheese
Cheese the day
DONUTS
Current mood
Donut worry
Glazed
Robert Frosted
Donut kill my vibe
Hold me closer tiny donut
Hole in one
Sweet af
Weird dough
Donuts over dudes
Glazed & confused
Donut disturb
Dough
HOLIDAYS
Merry X-mas ya filthy animal
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name
None for Gretchen Weiners
You go Glen Coco
Merry Crustmas
I like you a latke
Baby it's cold outside
Bye Buddy! Hope you find your Dad!
Challah back girl
Cotton headed ninny muggin
#elfie
Feast mode
Feliz naughty dog
Fleece Navidad
Happy challah days
I sleigh
Matza ballin'
Meowy X-mas
Merry & bright
New year, old me
Pour me one menorah
Thanksgiving nap shirt
'Tis the season
50 Shades of Sleigh
Ringing in the New Year
Santa doesn't believe in you either
Santa claws
What the elf?
WINTER
Brrrito
Cold af
Hibernating
Netflix & Naps
Snow bored
Up to snow good
Winter is coming
Glove compartment
BFF
Drinking Buddies
Bff
Friends don't let friends drink alone
Co-authoring texts since 2002
My bff is the delivery guy
No new friends
You're the mac to my cheese
Girl Gang
Tall fry/ Small fry
Breast Friends
Partners in wine
Burger lover/ Fries lover
Brunch bunch
We hate the same people
Hating the same things since 1990
Palentine's Day
They don't do it like my clique
Ladyhood
SPARKLE
Blood sweat sequins
Glitter for breakfast
Sparkly af
Shine bright
Confetti wap
PETS
Poop happens
Will sit for pizza
Fatty
Sorry not sorry
Mush!
Sauced
Fetching
Don't stop retrievin'
He looks more like his dad
Carb your dog
Only Child
I Uber
Ball so hard
PET & OWNER
Couch potato/ Tater tot
Scooper/ Pooper
Ruff day/ Girl, you know it
Obv. not a cat person/ Me either
Fun sized/ Full sized
I take bribes/ I trust my dog's opinion of you
Twinning
Pee-on/ Boss
RESOLUTIONS/ ANTI RESOLUTIONS
What resolutions?
This year I will be adopted by the Kardashians
This year I will extrafries
Make better bad decisions
Whole foods
Fat free, gluten free, carb free, lol nvm
Does eating cheese make me a gym rat?
Eat more veggies: carrot cake, zucchini bread,
pumpkin pie.
I pec thigs up and glute them down
Abs of meal
Just here to show off my workout gear
Don't run. Guac.
Living my best life
Broke but fabulous
Pour choices
Running late is my exercise
Screw it
Nap more. Stress less.
DINOSAURS
Winosaur
Napasaurus
Raptor round your finger
Rexcellent
Tea Rex
You make my heart saur
CATS
Are you kitten me right meow?
Check meowt
Crazy cat lady
New York Kitty
The Great Catsby
The Sound of Meowsic
You feline me
SAN FRANCISCO
Soma
Pac Heights
Russian Hill
The Mission
Commuter bus shirt
Tonga Room
Urban hiker
Yuppie
Official wine taster
Nap nap Napa
PIZZA
Well rounded diet
Cutting carbs
Slice, slice baby
Lil' pizza my heart
In pizza we crust
Want a pizza me?
Love triangle
I've got a crust on you
Doughs before bros
East crust
West crust
The circle of life
ZA
I want pizza, not your opinion
Whole Foods
A whole new world
Will sit for pizza
I fall to pizzas
Never give up
Roses are red, pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large & none is for you.
Slice to meet you
Cheesus crust
Weirdough
The only boy worth waiting for is the delivery boy
Crust in yourself
Flour child
Crust fund baby
Ride or pie
I like thick crusts and I cannot lie
Let me see that pizza roll
Cheese all that
That pizza, dough
Say, cheese
Cheese the day
Another one bites the crust
When two becrumb one
Cheesus take the wheel
Cold Pizza Club
Pie me a river
Pie curious
Saucy
Got dough?
Cheat day
Diet starts tomorrow
Pepperoni
KANYE & KARDASHIANS
Carbdashian
Kanye asada
Cognac West
Two eggs over Yeezy
Kanye 20/20
What would North do?
Humble with a touch of Kanye
Kanye attitude, Drake feelings
I like you more than Kanye likes Kanye
WINE
You had me at merlot
#wineing
Bordeaux patrol
House of the riesling sun
It's Winesday
On Winesday we drink pink
Rise & wine
Wine not?
Wine don't whine
Wizard of Shiraz
Winosaur
Everything happens for a riesling
Partners in wine
Say you'll be wine
Stop & smell the rose
Rose si vous plait
Yes way, rose
I'll be ready in a prosecco
Rose all day
Merlot it's me
Screw it
Juice cleanse
You're like fine wine
For richer or for pourer
Don't keep it bottled up
90'S
Lisa Frank is my spirit animal
As if
Baby Ginger Posh Scary Sporty & Pumpkin
A/S/L
Here comes the CapriSun
Leonardo Dicaprisun
Justin JC Chris Joey & Lance
Lord of the Ring Pops
Met on dream phone
New flip who dis?
Nick AJ Kevin Brian Howie
Rollin' with the homies
Sike
Talk to the hand
This is an Alaia
We're so *nsync
Game over
MEAN GIRLS
Is butter a carb?
None for Gretchen Wieners
You go Glen Coco
Hair full of secrets
Kalteen bars
So fetch
On Winesday we drink pink
You can't sit with us
Get in, loser
MOOD
Too old for this bar
Namastay in bed
Being nice is cool
Busy doing nothing
Feels
I am unable to even
In memory of when I cared
It was me. I let the dogs out.
Lacroix is life
I am le tired
Not today
Plz do not disturb rn
Resting b*tch face
See you next tuesday
Silently correcting your grammar
If you think you'll win me over with food, you're right
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Sorry I wasn't listening
Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.
Sunglasses & Advil
Text only
Sh*t happens
Sorry not sorry
Stay home club
Lisa Frank fan club
No chill
I can't adult today
Shady
Never not late
Living la vida brokah
Bad hair day
Over it
Shoot for the stars
Lost & Found
Mouth breather
Eleven is my homegirl
Kawaii
Not doing things
FOR MOMS
Momsomnia
Momager
Mom! The meat loaf
Runs on coffee
Mama bear
Moms wine because kids whine
Shero
I'm a cool mom
Mom hair don't care
I'm not asking I'm telling
Mama needs her juice
Stacy's Mom
Because I said so
50 Shades of Grey Hair
Yo da mom
I know best
Momsense
Ain't no hood like motherhood
LOVE
Partners in wine
Brie mine
Say you'll be wine
I wheely like you
Love the wine you're with
Single-ish
Dough-eyed
Love Triangle
I've got a crust on you
My lo mein squeeze
Wish you were beer
Yoda one for me
I like you a latte
You're the hottest pocket
You turn me naan
I want a bouquet of rose
Groove is in the heart
Be my lover
I am everything because you feed me
Sip me baby one more time
For richer or for pourer
Unbake my heart
When two become one
Gone with the gin
Whiskey me off my feet
You're like fine wine
Spilled my heart out
Too gouda for you
You're soy awesome
Soy mate
Wagyu you mean?
Textual healing
I heart you BB
ANTI VALENTINE
Not today Cupid
World'd okayest girlfriend
I like you more than Kanye likes Kanye
I like you and naps
Forever alone
Roses are red, pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large & none is for you.
Olive myself
I didn't want a Valentine anyway...
SPRING BREAK
Mistakes on a plane
Bar so hard
Making pour decisions
Punta Cana get a drink?
Plane shirt
Throwing shade
Laps to the swim-up bar
Spring broke
CHICAGO
Chicago > NYC
Big girls don't chi
Chi city
In too deep
Off the deep end
In the deep end
Windy af
The Chi
Da Bears
Drunk at North Beach
Chi me a river
Drunk on a float
No really it's cold
Cold af
Knee deep
Pop not soda
We say pop
Portillo's only
Portillo's beefcake
Lollapaloozer
Gym shoes not sneakers
B96
I heart Weiner Circle
Beefy
Club Nitro
CARS
Easy rider
Ride or die chick
Shot gun
Topless
Clueless
I wheely like you
WEDDINGS
Future Mrs.
Feyonce
Bridechilla
BRB honeymooning
Hitched
Stoned
Team Bride
Team Groom
Wifed up
Ring on it
Taken
Off the market
Ring the alarm
Engaged to be fed
I do crew
Bridin' dirty
Bride tribe
Just said yes
Mrs.
Will you marry me?
Wifey For Lifey
Soon to be Mrs.
Let's Toast
Bougie Bride
Simply Smitten
Bride to be
Cloud Nine
Maid of Honor
Bridesmaid
BRUNCH
Brunchaholic
Drunch
Do brunch, not that
In brunch we trust
Sunday funday
Brunches over crunches
Viva la brunch
Brunch so hard
Mornings are for mimosas
Brunch of b*tches
Brunch Bunch
TACOS
Just in queso
Kanye asada
Chipotle is my life
Fajita the moment
Let's taco bout it
Make tacos not war
Will work for tacos
Every now & then I fall apart
Nacho friend
I know guacamole is extra
Beyonce
#iwokeuplikethis
Boy bye
Don't worry Beyonce
I slay
Lemonade
Queen Bee
Sweatin' out my blowout
The Beyhive
Twirl on them haters
Why be you when you can Beyonce?
To infinity and Beyonce
DRAKE
Controlla
Don't Drake & drive
Drake fan club
Hotline Bling
You used to call me on my home phone
Kanye attitude, Drake feelings
Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake?
Starting wearing more & going out less
Views
GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS
Goal digger
Boss lady
Never not late
Basic
Big hair don't care
Coco made me do it
Eat. Pray. Hustle.
Fries before guys
Head honcho
I like my puns intended
I'm kind of a big deal
Pizza rolls over gender rolls
Shero
Queen B
Profesh af
Stop. Glamour time
War paint
Love is love is love
Smoke show
Bread winner
TAXIS
Never not late
Five minutes away
Before Uber
All hail
Back seat make out
I (taxi) NYC
Power nap
Ride or die
Therapist
Don't upstream me bro
Not the FDR
Chariot
FOR THE BROS
Bro choice
When in Brome
Brotocol
Broses are red
Chest of honor
Manichest destiny
Brovolone
Broyonce
Meat sweats
The wild wild chest
Trophy husband
Arm candy
NAPS
Dream team
The snuggle is real
Donut disturb
Throw pillow
West coast napper
East coast napper
Sleep on sleeping on
No sleep until BK
LaCroix myself to sleep
Five more minutes
Talk sleepy to me
Le tired
PEACH
Kick today in the peach
Shake that sass
What the fuzz?
Freedom of peach
Hardcore
Peach better have my money
GRADUATION
Hotter by 1 degree
I wined a lot but I did it
Cs get degrees
Not a loan
In debt & all I got was this lousy diploma
Indebted to my alma mater
Newly minted adult
I can't adult tody
Now adulting
Grown up time
I've peaked
Well read
Goal digger
Overly educated
Broke & fab
Degree in kick ass
Schools out forever
Hall pass, no class
It's not summer break, I just summer
Spring break forever
Adult spring break
It ain't bad to be a grad
Broke entrepreneur
Entry level CEO
First time adult
Saduation
Hire me
Won't work for free
F/u pay me
Work work work work work
Magna cum rowdy
NEW YORK
New York doesn't love you
New York Pretty
Never leaving Brooklyn
Upper Best Side
LES is more
Broadway & Prince
Broke millennial
Brooklyn is too far
East coast napper
Local
Tourist
Uber VIP
Never not late
I (taxi) NYC
Sohoe
Downtown Girl
Uptown Girl
No time for showtime
What's above 14th street?
Nothing above 14th street
Incident at Third st
Hold me like a dispatcher
Stay right, pass left
Hallal cart
Dirty water dog
Murray Chill
Can't stand the heat, get out of Hell's Kitchen
Professional Bodega Cat
Track fire
Village Idiot
Street Meat
Mimosas. Money. Manhattan.
Flatiron
Grimes Square
I only drink Manhattans
What time is it? Showtime
Offical New Yorker
Grand Central
Rockefella
BROOKLYN
Brookelyn
Williamsbored
Manhattan spillover
F the L train
The ghost train
The people's train
Check out my etsy page
Intentionally ironic since 2008
This is my non-upcycled shirt
Not-vintage
Grass-fed, gluten-free, organic
Rooftop microgreens only
Urban farmer
I love a good man bun
Beards or bust
Beards, buns, brooklyn
Thrift store find
Locally grown
I compost
Gentrifying BK since 2000
BOSTON
Streat Meat
ATL
Clerly's Basement
The Bean
Beantown
Lobstahs
Pahk the cahr
Tom Brady
Townie
Cornah store
Southie
Dunkies, kid